Letting Go to Make Room for Something New: Upgrading Your Emotional Wardrobe

Newsletter: October 2025

Bye, Bye Gold Heels!

I went through my closet the other day and found this pair of gold sequin 4-inch high-heeled shoes from 16 years ago (don't judge me). These were my favorite heels back in the day, and I would find any excuse or occasion to wear them.  At this point in my life, I haven't worn the shoes in over seven years, and if I'm honest with myself, I had this adult foot growth spur (also known as having children), and the shoes are now two sizes too small. My heart smiled when I saw them, but my mind shifted to "Girl, why in the world do you still have those shoes?".  Well, the answer was obvious: I loved those shoes. They were a part of my wardrobe for many significant moments; they were an outward statement that I was ready to shine. However, in 2024,  I had to question their relevance and importance. In a moment of reflection, I realized that those shoes represented a desire to hold on to what should have probably been let go of a long time ago. I let go of the shoes to make room for something new.

As you enter October, ask yourself what you are holding on to that can be released to make room for something new. As we navigate life, we encounter different people, have different experiences, and face various challenges. Each of those things tends to leave us with memories, emotions, and thoughts (some joyful, others painful) that we store in the closets of our hearts and minds. When we hold on to these things that should be released, we take up valuable space where more relevant things can be stored.  When we hold on to anger (and don't get me wrong, it may be justified), it robs joy of a home in your emotional wheelhouse.  When we hold on to resentment, we prohibit ourselves from the freedom that forgiveness brings.  When negative thoughts play like a song on repeat in our brain, those thoughts rob us of the gift of living in the present.  When fear consumes us daily, it restricts our ability to seek new opportunities and experience new things.  While all emotions are perfectly normal to feel and serve their purpose in the human experience, having any one emotion over an extended period or an uncontrolled emotion can limit your ability to live your best life right now. Let's take this month to make room for a new emotional wardrobe.

Tips to Upgrade Your Emotional Wardrobe: Making Space for Fresh Feelings

1. Identify your emotions. Ask yourself what you are really feeling. Is it anger or frustration? Is it anxiety or stress? When we take a moment to label our emotions accurately, we can better manage them.

   
   

2. Acknowledge the emotion without judgment and pay attention to how it manifests physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.

   
   

3. Remember that emotions are not "good" or "bad". In fact, emotions are messages that communicate to us about us. What is this emotion trying to tell you? If you can identify what the emotion is telling you, you will better understand it.

   
   

4. Ask yourself a few questions to assist you with putting the situation and your feelings into context. Will this matter tomorrow? A week from now? A month from now? A year from now? The problem may be challenging, and emotions may be strong. How will holding on to the situation or emotion help or hurt you? Will holding on to the emotion to change the situation?

   
   

5. Take active steps to release the emotion and its grip on your life. Try journaling, exercising, breathing exercises, creative expression (art, music), crying, or talking it out with a trusted individual.